I woke up today.
The first thing that came to mind was my health.
I looked at myself in the mirror and everything seemed fine but according to the doctor I seem to be showing signs of the pcos. A hereditary syndrome that causes cyst to grow on the ovaries – causing hormonal imbalances.
It’s a common syndrome amongst Arab women. For what reasons? I have no clue. But it was starting to explain a lot about why I was functioning the way I had been for years – it’s just so happens that I can now see a medical provider.
I wasn’t afraid of the fact that I would have problems barring children — I never wanted any of my own but it did scare me. For years I had been mistreating my body and now it was showing signs of impairment – which only pushes me to get healthier.
So it’ll be okay. I’m not the only one with health-risks.
Im sitting on my couch watching the sun rise. The sun is beginning to leave a copper-colored residue on the skyline of buildings.
It’s a new day and it’s my last day of being 25.
Of course, things have to change.
Although, I’d be lying if I had to convince anyone that I wasn’t anymore mature for my age than I already am – but still, gone are the days where I could choose destructive fun over living a functional life.
I guess there is a point in life, when war stories from your night outs of befriending strangers with criminal pasts, and ending up with your left cheek glued to the seat of your toilet — stop becoming funny and start sounding like a cry for help.
Next thing you know, you’re on a one way flight to Peru journaling how you feel pre-ayahuasca trip.
What I mean to say is destroying yourself is needed at a certain time – it’s need so you can understand yourself better. And I’m lucky that I got out just in time – because it could’ve been worse.
And everyone chooses to live life a certain way – and I don’t want to interfere – I just know up to this point I have way too much to lose to be playing with fire.
And it’s not to say, that I’ll live with my nose in the air with this reformed lifestyle – I’m more so opening my eyes to what’s happening around me and choosing the best options for me.
So here’s to the first quarter of my life ending – and to a new more healthy, happy, conscious me.