It’s hard to pinpoint how I feel right now. I’m in the most beautiful country in the world.
More specifically, Papagayo.
Every inch of this country is lush and filled with an everlasting beauty.
My days have been filled with long hikes, discovering new species of mammals and plants.
Yet, somehow, I still feel like I should be doing more.
Everyone around me keeps telling me to enjoy this life.
Maybe I’m not used to things being so good. It’s uncomfortable at times.
Especially when I pass by impoverished towns.
I still feel a sense of guilt.
I’m afraid to say that I feel a sense of emptiness.
It’s not to say that I’m not grateful — or insanely happy, I am.
I’m delighted. I thank God every second I get. Things could’ve gone south. After all that I went through, who did I think I was moving to New York?
I’m not complaining. I just know I have a bigger purpose than being someone’s wife. A bigger purpose than just exploring the world.
I’m obligated to do more.
I’m told, that I should just let it come to me.
It’s most likely that I’m overthinking things.
I just hope, that by the end of this trip, it will come to me.