Waking up with the sun

(On my way to hot yoga. Telluride, Colorado)

Waking up takes a lot of courage. Some describe this event as opening your third eye. I’m ashamed to admit that mine didn’t fully open until much recently.

I’m plagued with memories where I was allowing someone to suffer out of my own selfish reason. I truly didn’t know what I was doing, it was as if – up until this point, someone was driving the car and I was the passenger.

As a child, I remember having constant dreams of me driving in a car — and suddenly, I looked over and no one was driving. I began to panic and would attempt to crawl over to the driver’s seat. unfortunately, in every dream I couldn’t get out of my seatbelt — fortunately, I woke up in time before a big crash.

A simple adolescent nightmare, that is now an analogy for my life — our lives.

(Note: record your dreams, they are trying to tell you something).

Perhaps I was conditioned to not believe I was in control, maybe it was MTV…or maybe it was my introduction into the world that made me believe I didn’t have control over my destiny.

Whatever the point source is, it was very lethal. Much like driving a car, with no driver and being stuck in your seatbelt; I was bound to spin out of control. Crash.

I crashed a few times before I realized that the seatbelt represented fear. Surroundings that plagued my mind with anxieties. If you grow up and constantly see bad things happening around you, (war, natural disaster or living in a dangerous neighborhood) you’ll begin to feel as if the universe isn’t on your side. That thought alone kills love and hope. The younger you’re exposed to this nature, the harder it will be to overcome it– but you still can.

The car driving symbolized the direction of my destiny, the driver seat being empty; showed their might not be one.

My panic implied that I wanted to rip off the fear society had pinned on to me (my seatbelt) — yet each time, I couldn’t and I was stuck.

Waking up indicated that in order to be in control of my own destiny and not crash, I had to simply do that; wake up.

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