I was meditating at the beach yesterday and I came to a realization; my flashbacks have almost vanished. A sigh of relief. It was not easy coming out of hell and dealing with the demons that were holding on to the edges of my heels. It took 6 months of intense healing.
The things that have helped: Solitude and only being around those who truly care, meditation, yoga, cooking, exercising, reading, praying, writing and time.
Healing is a life long process, but seeing the progression makes me full of joy.
I’m so hard on myself sometimes. I’m always searching for my soul intended purpose. I don’t ever want to be living a life of luxury and ignoring the work that I’m supposed to do on this earth. Being a refugee, it’s hard to ignore the devastations of the world. I always feel like I need to be doing more.
This very thought has lead me to be very anxious. I decided to write a letter to myself explaining that I have to let timing be the leader of that. I forgot that I went through a lot. A LOT. I’m surprised I’m alive. And although, I love the fact that I’m not willing to end the progression… I’ve realized that the progression lies within myself. In other words I need to chill.
Take care of me first, before I take care of anyone else.
The beach is my favorite place. When I lay on the crust of the earth I can see where the ocean touches earth. Look at that, all of the powers in the universe have allowed us to sit and watch the ocean waves roar as the magnitude of the wind pulls it back. This is how it is right now and I get to be apart of it….