I really want to be on my own for a while but for now life is a compromise.
My soul is tired. I need fresh air.
Apart of me wants to run out into the wild — and find myself. Find my passions, find my true nature, my people.
I want to become this person I’m slowly creating in my head.
Who ever she is… I wonder if she’s waiting for me. Because I’m waiting for her.
What’s strange is that I feel like I’m losing myself.
Today I was in a fitting room and I realized I don’t fit in with who someone else wants me to be.
I want to be myself, but I don’t even know who she is. She’s been mislabeled and pulled around by others.
She feels like an object. Used for sex in exchange for gifts… that gift is survival.
Sometimes I think … well, what’s the worst that could happen if I don’t survive?
She dies. And maybe she’ll finally meet herself….