Where has life taken me for the last year and a half? I’ve found myself in the middle of tropical jungles, ancient castles, worldly events and champagne glasses.
In the last couple of days, I’ve had dreams of people from my past. Lovers and old friends. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I reminisce more about them than the other way around.
All I have are these memories. For some time, I was trying to piece them together… “What happened?” And “Why is no one here?” And then I realized that it just had to be this way.
God, the universe, the highest power…whatever we call the supreme had a different plan for me. In order to have what I have now, I had to let go of the past. And that meant people.
Like figurines in a sculpture park, each one of them defy a story of who I once was. I’m in awe of my past because of the brilliance I was able to acquire from it.
If I could start all over, I’d only make myself more aware of the details.
The neon lights that sprawled across our young bodies. No one was awake when I was dancing with the devil. I’d replay the many scenes of me hoping into the scorching hot showers, washing away the sins of another man.
I’d capture every crack in the old motels and every sun rise on the open road.
I’d dance in circles on the casino carpet to the chimes of the penny slots.
What a magical life. To end up in the world’s most beautiful places when it began in loveless scenes.
I remember one day specifically at the Palms. I was looking through the tall windows and my eyes focused on the big white church right across the street.
It stood out like gold.
I thought of her. And all that she went through and how hard it must have been to be alone.
I prayed for the whirlwind to end… but it only got better.